Cupid: Every Thursday, we dish it up straight from the Arrow’s Tip. I respond to your emails with advice from the love master himself. And when he’s not around, you get me. It’s free so don’t complain.
The Arrow’s Tip is all about love or the lack thereof because, honestly, what’s the diff? It’s all suffering. Sometimes we offer the guy’s perspective and for my female clientele, I invited guest blogger Sophie the Card because I’m considerate like that. Allow me to introduce the Card herself.
Cupid: This week’s question is from a dude who arranged a first date without my influence and now that he screwed things up, he wants my advice. I should’ve sent him away, but I’m an old softy, in case no one’s noticed. So this guy and girl are out having a good time, slurping lattes and she’s laughing at his jokes. The giggles make him think, “Wow, she’s hot — hot for me!”
One joke leads to another and before you know it, he sticks his tongue down her throat. Not a good time to take the tongue out of the garage for a spin. She abruptly pulls back and gives him the stink eye. Her eye can beat up his tongue any day. He says, “Whoa! I thought you were into me. You laughed at my jokes.”
Sophie: Haha! That’s funny, but don’t get any ideas. To answer the man with the overactive tongue, just because a woman laughs at your jokes doesn’t mean she’s ready for your tongue to move into her mouth. It just means she thinks you’re funny.
Cupid: And what’s a laugh? Just a hiccup having an orgasm.
Sophie: You don’t want to stick your tongue down a new acquaintance’s throat unless she specifically asks, “Would you mind terribly sticking your tongue down my throat? Because it’s that time of the month and my esophagus needs a little intimacy.” If that happens, you have my blessing. Otherwise, hold your tongue.
Cupid: Well, there you have it, straight from the Card. I could just puke.