WordPress and I had our first fight. Before I hash it out, let me be clear that this doesn’t change our status. I’m in love with WordPress and even the best relationships occasionally run into a rough patch. It’s just that the behavior was so unexpected.
When I had hit the Publish button of my last post, Difference Between Sexes, a message flashed back that said something like, “Dope! Your post contained only 17 words!” Now I was tired and having a rough week so at first, I squinted thinking I hadn’t read it right. As I refocused, the word “Dope” continued to heckle me. I know it’s the internet, but I’d really thought WordPress was above name-calling.
I thought, How dare you call me a dope, WP! I get that you’re into communicative bloggers, but it’s not as if I’m the silent type who takes up space with barely a grunt. I’ve had a rough week, I’m not feeling great, so give me some slack. Plus, I inserted a picture in my post, which we all know is worth a thousand words and, yes, I just used a cliche, but it’s a good one because it brings my word count up to 1,017. Even if it doesn’t, one of the infamous 17 words, “aren’t,” is a contraction. If I’d said “are not” and tipped the scale at 18 words, would you have been happier? At what point does the word count satisfy and please you? I mean, really, what’s next — a message to pick up my unused widgets because they clutter the sidebar?
Once I cooled down, I considered that just as I had had a rough week and my resources were low, words and otherwise, perhaps WordPress was also having a less-than-stellar time. We all say things under pressure. When you’re in a relationship, you try to take these things into consideration. You make an effort to see where your partner is coming from.
Once I got past my initial indignation, I chose to forgive WordPress. That’s what you do when you’re in love. I considered that WordPress was allowed to have its moment, a fall from grace, entitled to be less than perfect just like me and everyone else. Besides, its awesome qualities so overshadow any moment of weakness or insanity that we all succumb to from time to time.
Before I knew it, I began to fantasize about WordPress’s beauty. Its themes are like no other and yet its superior intellect boasts capabilities that outshine the rest. If that weren’t enough, its so helpful in clearly explaining those things I don’t understand. I’d never want to be partnered with any other blog site. WordPress can beat up any of them without question. But it won’t because it’s nice like that.
I have only this to say to WordPress: Because I adore you, let’s forgive and move on. Together, of course. I expressed that in less than 17 words and yet it’s all that’s needed — succinct with a sincere heart.
I have a great idea that would really mend things between us. Let’s start a new page. And while we’re at it, how about some makeup sex?
Sparring Photo from photobucket.com
Apologies for not being able to locate the source for the second most-awesome photo.