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Tag Archives: Dating

Difference Between Sexes

Men and women aren’t so different.

A heart is just an ass upside down.

Photo from myfunnyworld.net

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Posted by on August 3, 2011 in All In A Day's Work

 

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Not Your Cat’s Friskies

Someone told me, “If you want to increase blog traffic, you’ve got to post about cats or food. That’s what people like.” Now I have nothing against felines or key limes, but I happen to be in the love business, No offense, Kit Kats and kitty cats.

Then I figured, how about hooking up a kitten with a nice sandwich? This way everyone’s happy.

I went through my files of single food and while none of the sandwiches were interested, I did find some available broccoli.

I said to this cat, here, I have some nice broccoli I want you to meet. You interested?

He gives me a look that says, “That green stuff comes within one foot of my lips and I get a restraining order.”

Personally, I don’t understand. It’s a wholesome snack. I guess kitty likes it hot and spicy, even if it’s not the best thing for him. What could I do? I aim to please.

There. I hope everyone’s happy. Just don’t get burned.

Cat photo by Paolo Signorini at Flickr.com

 

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Ingratitude

Valentines Cupid
Make up your mind, Lady. You hire me to do a job and now you want to cancel? No refunds in less than 24 hours. A deal’s a deal. And what’s with going over my head and calling on the Big Guy?

See what I put up with? I do a job and all I get is attitude.

 
 

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The Arrow’s Tip: Where to Park your Tongue

Cupid: Every Thursday, we dish it up straight from the Arrow’s Tip. I respond to your emails with advice from the love master himself. And when he’s not around, you get me. It’s free so don’t complain.

The Arrow’s Tip is all about love or the lack thereof because, honestly, what’s the diff? It’s all suffering. Sometimes we offer the guy’s perspective and for my female clientele, I invited guest blogger Sophie the Card because I’m considerate like that. Allow me to introduce the Card herself.

Sophie: Delighted!

Cupid: This week’s question is from a dude who arranged a first date without my influence and now that he screwed things up, he wants my advice. I should’ve sent him away, but I’m an old softy, in case no one’s noticed. So this guy and girl are out having a good time, slurping lattes and she’s laughing at his jokes. The giggles make him think, “Wow, she’s hot — hot for me!”

One joke leads to another and before you know it, he sticks his tongue down her throat. Not a good time to take the tongue out of the garage for a spin. She abruptly pulls back and gives him the stink eye. Her eye can beat up his tongue any day. He says, “Whoa! I thought you were into me. You laughed at my jokes.”

Sophie: Haha! That’s funny, but don’t get any ideas. To answer the man with the overactive tongue, just because a woman laughs at your jokes doesn’t mean she’s ready for your tongue to move into her mouth. It just means she thinks you’re funny.

Cupid: And what’s a laugh? Just a hiccup having an orgasm.

Sophie: You don’t want to stick your tongue down a new acquaintance’s throat unless she specifically asks, “Would you mind terribly sticking your tongue down my throat? Because it’s that time of the month and my esophagus needs a little intimacy.” If that happens, you have my blessing. Otherwise, hold your tongue.

Cupid: Well, there you have it, straight from the Card. I could just puke.

When to Kiss

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2011 in The Arrow's Tip

 

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